the truth about LA

Los Angeles. The city of Angels. I dont think so.
In my life span, I have lived in LA collectively for almost half. I have never stayed here longer than now. I moved back here in 2007, so that makes 7 years here. I never lasted more than 5. Im starting to feel the pinch.
For much of the time spent here, the level of angst and anger that I see in the faces of nearly everyone was a complete mystery to me. It seemed juxtapose to the surroundings of this beautiful place as well as the so called "Californian attitude". I grew up in SF, where Californian Attitude is KING, and I used to make a joke that there was just too much oxygen and sunshine down here and it corroded your brain. Unfourtunetly, I was not far off.
The very nature of any city is to allow people to civilize and commune themselves. To work together.
Living close together means you are not alone, and if you need help or a cup of sugar, you are supported. Its supposed to make life easier. Its supposed to bring people closer.
Los Angeles was built by and for the movie business. That business is built on aesthetics, money, power and judgement. Its also built on competition, meaning every man for himself. That is what drives this town. This is a place where people wrap dog shit in a bag (sometimes!), but leave the bag on the sidewalk. This is a place where people talk on their cell phones in romantic restaurants and dont talk to each other. This is a town where the cyclist's are so entitled and self righteous, they ride in packs, and terrorize motorists.This is a town where Mom and daughter dress alike, in hot pants and 4 inch heels.
I have seen  animals and children, ignored or endangered for the sake of a text or phone call, to the point where the animal or child nearly gets run over in the street.
The level of self indulgence and lack of humanity is everywhere. Customer service is hard to come by, and I haven't even mentioned the driving yet. That could be its own blog.
One of the worst things is there is NO ASPCA in LA County. The civic regulators sort of gave up on controlling a population that has too much money, or none. The rich want to keep tigers on the property and the poor raise chickens and bunnies to eat.
I have found myself in difficult situations with finding animals along the road ("wow, I really need to fix that hole in my fence. Thanks for finding my dog") or dealing with dogs that bark and bark and bark, and there is nothing to be done. I found five rabbits in my back yard in east LA. Two white and three brown. They were obviously escaping someones dinner pot.Thank God bunnies are EASY to rehome.
But it is now tragic. I live in a condo strip which means two sets of condos face in to a main driveway    in San Fernando Valley.
I saw two feral black and white cats on my second night here. They would wander up and down the driveway but stayed closest to one particular house. Then I started to see dishes of food on that same house lawn. Some one was feeding them! I asked other people who live here, and some said yes they had seen them, but most just shrugged at me.
People here think they are being kind when they feed a stray or a wild animal.
You would cry if I told you how many times Ive seen people feeding coyotes and squirrels. To the point where Ive had a coyote go aggressive on me AND my dog (COMPLETE REVERSAL OF INSTINCT) and seen squirrels so fat they can barely climb trees. One homeless guy told me he kills the fat ones  and eats them. I hope there are no children in the park that day.
You leave wildlife ALONE. You don't feed wild life because you break the cycle of these animals either dying off or being able to get food for themselves.
If you want a cat, take on the responsibility of having one, and caring for it, and keeping it safe.
There are 5 kittens that I have now rescued. Three I found along the driveway one night (I believe the mother was moving them) and two I rescued out of the dumpster. They had jumped in, but were too small to hop back out. Some idiot had left the lid open. This town. Thanks to God I was taking out the trash. They would have been dumped into the Garbage truck the following morning.
There are still 7 more kittens and three (not two) adults females and one huge gray Tom cat.
Im trying to organize a "kitten wrangle" to save the little ones. I don't know how its going to go down, but I have to do something. I have to act, I can't sit and watch.
The 4 adults will have to be euthanized as there is very little hope for adoption. People will adopt an adult dog, but not a cat.
So as Ive been feeding them and trying to coax them all into a state of comfort in my back yard, I know its only to trap and kill some of them. Im heartsick.

 In this city of angels, I feel alone.

drag

The word "Drag". I know the definitive orgin comes from Shaekespear's day when actors dressed up like women (Dressesd as girl) but to a kid raised in Ca in the 1970's, drag has meant "bad" or a bummer or something hard to do...so when I met my first drag queen at 14, I thought, of course this is DRAG..it must be...and HOW FABULOUS!

I grew up ugly and then got gorgeous over one summer. I was the ugly duckling story come to life. And though it was wonderful to finally be beautiful, after so many years, it was also eye opening.

I became very aware that people treat you how you look..I had been ugly as a girl, now I was beautiful.   It left me feeling I had no one to trust since even my parent's treated me differently.
 I found myself, as well as found myself in a group of close friends from HS. We would travel, by bus if we had to, to see Rocky Horror Picture Show every weekend.
Many in this group felt as I, misfits.   But the beautiful thing is that we found each other, and created a family.

Every weekend The Strand theatre on Market Street would have midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show. What a scene outside the theatre it was.  For a girl of 14, it was magical and happy where all accepted all.

I was raised in a beautiful household but I was ugly ..so therefore un-wanted, I never fit in...but here, we all didn't fit in..and so we fit together, and it was amazing.

There was this one drag queen. Kevin. She was 6'4 in heels, always the biggest blonde (platinum) wig and white dress, as if on way to wedding. God she was gloriuos, and loud and sooo happy to be herself.  I loved her.

Ironically this is the weekend after mothers day...and I post that my mother ignores me on FB..she always has and always will..

I will never forget when I realized that these girl's (some of 'em) were abandoned by they're mothers too.
And I see why I identify and love these art forms. They too feel alone.

Ru said it best.. on season 5 to Roxy " we get to choose our own family"

I wept..and this morning through this afternoon, I felt a connection in a room full of total strangers.

Most of the selfies I got taken by the queens or their assistants as my hands were shaking.  I was so excited to be there among these fabulous people.
Tomorrow I go back to have a pic with the queen, RuPaul, herself.
Just to be near her today outside a convention curtain, I could see her on the other side..laughing.

Today they were all laughing.....some were hungry and tired by 1 pm, but the feeling in the air was joy...we were all there to celebrate FABULOUSNESS and it showed...all the queens I had the nerve to stop for a snap, STOPPED dead and let me know "of course" and some even said we love you too...Chad Michaels let me talk to her for five minutes....."oh Oh honey, Breathe"

It was the most, and the best is I went by myself for myself to see the lady herself...all fingers crossed tomorrow I will.